I think we all like to take things. I think it’d be fair. It’s just that some of us appear to do so more than others. And, if it happens, some of us can handle it in us better than others.
It is never safe to take things personally: a worker, friend, husband-wife, partner-partner, child-parent, Etc. For several reasons.
If you take it personally, one main factor is that, whether you blame yourself or not, your emotions will continuously be at the hands of others. In a relationship, this is never safe and any way of living.
That we have all selfish impulses is, I think, an undeniable thing. Some of us, though, are more self-centered than others. And in the right situations, some of us may become greedy.
In knowing and acknowledging that often people are egotistical, we also understand the people:
- will think only in terms of what is best for them
- see it from their perspective only
- Would like to be right about everything
- will want to have stuff in its way
- won’t know how it impacts others
There are a few reasons why I can believe people do what they sometimes do (maybe you should talk of other things):
- Stop Worrying About What Other People Think. It really is not anyone’s business what people think of you, or anything else. …
- Know Your Worth. …
- Don’t Jump To Conclusions. …
- Let Things Go. …
- Fill Your Calendar. …
- Don’t Climb Down.
Therefore, sometimes people do what they’re doing only because they’re inspired by who they are and their baggage! And there’s no reason why we would take things personally they do and say if this stuff inspires them.
Your acts have shown that you do the same because you “have problems.” Again, nothing and therefore nothing personal to do with us.
To conclude, it is to realize and agree that people are often selfish and “has problems” without taking them seriously and that their actions sometimes have nothing to do with us. You can also turn it around and say they misrepresent their actions.
This helps you move the emphasis away (which is partly why you take things) and put it on them (that enables you to avoid taking things personally).