Unfortunately, the bullies never go away whether you are in middle school, university, or even a professional job!
I know this, as I have been through every area of this. Bullying can be defined in many different ways. The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland has no legal definition of bullying, while some states in the United States have laws against it. This is a blog I have wanted to share for so long.
It’s personal, painful but has helped others when I have spoken, as well as it’s good to get things out, people who don’t speak up. It’s nice to know up aren’t alone.
When I was young, I lacked celebrity, brains, and beauty. I never smoked, used drugs, or participated in my peers’ rebellious activities, but I did go through an “emo” phase (more on that later).
A Bully?
Bullying is often portrayed as kids pulling each other’s pants down to give them a wedgie, extorting lunch money, or getting smacked in the face.
One perspective is if one has ever loved or been attached to something—a beloved pet or jacket. Badmouthing, gossiping, etc., affects you emotionally.
The Look
The bullies saw me as a frightened newcomer, fresh meat. My older brothers were intelligent, healthy, and famous. My sister was well-known and well-liked, and I wished to be friends.
And despite my issues, excitement about school and life, excitement interested in addressing it since you sound thirsty for attention or naive to life’s harsh facts.
As cheerful as I may have seemed to others, I was actually rather miserable. This is why, when I tell this story, some of my friends react with surprise and say, “WHAT? you weren’t bullied?”
WEIGHT
I hated being overweight and bringing cucumber soup to school every day. Vietnam was difficult.
In fourth grade, a teacher informed me I was “too stupid,” “wouldn’t get far in life,” and “needed to repeat a couple more years of 3rd and 4th!” Changing schools made me happier; however, bullies will always exist.
The International Lifestyle
Things like straighteners, high-end high-street fashion, and feature-rich cell phones were all completely new to me when I moved to the Netherlands and later the United Kingdom.
I felt like a stray dog. I didn’t have the money for all that, and I felt like I was exposing myself to the big, evil world, evading the relative safety of my international existence in LDC countries.
The Mean Girls
After living in Asia and Africa, I returned to the Netherlands, where the school’s “Mean Girls” picked on me immediately.
They laughed at my English and math presentations, called me names when I was out of style, and made other unpleasant comments like I didn’t exist. That affected me. While walking to school from Albert Heijn, a girl yelled,
“What months are you pregnant?” You’re probably 9″.
To run into school and be mocked by students for wanting to see the principal. I dated a high schooler when I was 14, but the girls didn’t like it as he was in the older grade, and the queen bee loved him; they would say things like.
“Look at how far apart they’re walking!” How long before they make love?”
It’s worrisome that I distinctly remember that day, where they were sat, what was happening, that it was the summer before the holidays, and everything. Stop thinking about that, parents would say. Yes, it’s pointless.
Being quiet feels painful, but speaking back won’t help either. As well as at the back of your mind, you are constantly thinking, why me? What have I done to them?! No one else in my group had issues!
Which is why they didn’t see it or understand it. I felt hopelessly alone. It wasn’t until my father passed in 2006 that they stopped. News travels fast, and then it was the “Omg, I’m so sorry” situation… “Get me out and away from all of this, ‘d think.
I wasn’t treated as a human; I was merely a figure or object for them to play around with when suited, which was probably one of my most immense lows then.
Collage Life
I had nothing to complain about when I went to college. I left home when I was 16 or 17 to get a degree in acting, but it took me a while to feel like I fit in with the other students. College is when I met some of my closest friends.
Roadblocks were inevitable. I was accustomed to being the sole American abroad. NEVER! Reduce my socialising. My peers used to make fun of me for sitting alone in the canteen and being “fatty.” I always wept at home. My aunt, uncle, and two infant cousins hosted me.
Was moving right? Insecure, I should have stayed in the Netherlands. I asked my younger brother about dating. “Just go and sit next to people in the canteen or class and ask them something relating to the topic you are doing,” he advised. This keeps happening. After a few months, I belonged. I worked part-time after college and was not as bullied.
Working Life 1
I had a hard time with a coworker (as most people do), and I worked in retail, a challenging sector. I dreaded going in on Sundays because of this – my manager was horrible, but strangely, I started to gain confidence, lost weight, and became more angry than upset. She was dragging me down!
She even made my life horrible when I was home with relatives on vacation, calling me to come in even though I was on holiday because nothing else worked.
Working Life 2
I’ve met great people and businesses and learnt a lot, including a tricky topic, from my many jobs. Why is the firm poisonous? You keep going, but one person may ruin your day. It’s pointless. I’m sensitive, never gossip, and always trust others—money, entertainment, and jealousy cause bullying. Bullying harms. Smart or obese people are depressed. “That’s history,” an outsider can say. Wrong! Never. Be yourself, enjoy life, and treat others well.
Something that might surprise you is a list of celebrities who were bullied super severely; check out their stories.
- Rihanna
- Kate Middleton
- Elon Musk
- Eminem
- Michael Phelps
- Lady Gaga
- Eva Mendes
- Chris Rock
- Justin Timberlake
Seventeen years later, the famous teenagers who bullied me are doing nothing. I’ve grown, excelled, started a business, and travelled (Never drive the intelligent kid; they will end up being your boss one day).
Friends, family, and “I’m better than this” helped me! I found happiness and positive individuals. Bullying is inevitable.
I recognize hurt. Listen, smile, and leave. Increased emotion will confuse them. It will affect you, but everyone knows you. Switching schools or quitting a job can lead to excellent new opportunities.
Important / Help
Are you being bullied, at school, at work, or even at home? Talk to someone; you will be surprised what is classified as bullying, leading to depression, anxiety, and more.
You’re Not alone, whatever your age, job, location, and stage in life!
Now go and show people what you are made of!
