Unfortunately, bullies never go away, whether you are in middle school, university, or even a professional job! I know this because I have experienced it in every stage of my life. Bullying can be defined in many different ways. The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland has no legal definition of bullying, while some states in the United States have laws against it. This is a blog I have wanted to share for so long.
What’s a bully to you?
Bullying is personal and painful, but sharing my experiences has helped others and provided an outlet for those who don’t speak up. It’s comforting to know you’re not alone.
When I was young, I lacked celebrity, brains, and beauty. I never smoked, used drugs, or participated in my peers’ rebellious activities, but I did go through an “emo” phase (more on that later).
What is Bullying?
Bullying is often portrayed as kids pulling each other’s pants down to give them a wedgie, extorting lunch money, or getting smacked in the face. However, it can also be more insidious, like badmouthing, gossiping, and other forms of emotional abuse. UNICEF has some excellent resources on understanding and dealing with bullying.
My Experience with Bullying
When I was a frightened newcomer, bullies saw me as fresh meat. My older brothers were intelligent, healthy, and popular, and my sister was well-known and well-liked. Despite my excitement about school and life, I was miserable. Some friends react with surprise when I share my story, saying, “WHAT? You weren’t bullied?”
Weight Issues
I hated being overweight and bringing cucumber soup to school every day. Vietnam was difficult. In fourth grade, a teacher told me I was “too stupid” and “needed to repeat a couple more years of 3rd and 4th grade!” Changing schools made me happier, but bullies will always exist.
The International Lifestyle
Things like straighteners, high-end fashion, and feature-rich cell phones were new to me when I moved to the Netherlands and later the United Kingdom. I felt like a stray dog, exposing myself to the big, evil world.
The Mean Girls
After living in Asia and Africa, I returned to the Netherlands, where the school’s “Mean Girls” picked on me immediately. They laughed at my English and math presentations, called me names when I was out of style, and made other unpleasant comments like I didn’t exist. That affected me deeply. Once, while walking to school from Albert Heijn, a girl yelled, “What months are you pregnant? You’re probably 9”. It was humiliating to enter the building and endure mockery from other students for wanting to see the principal.
I dated a high schooler when I was 14, but the girls didn’t like it as he was in the older grade and the queen bee loved him. They would say things like, “Look at how far apart they’re walking! How long before they make love?” It’s worrisome that I distinctly remember that day, where they were sitting, what was happening, that it was the summer before the holidays, and everything. I still hear parents saying, “Stop thinking about that.
Yes, it’s pointless.” Being quiet feels painful, but speaking back won’t help either. In the back of your mind, you constantly think, why me? What have I done to them?! No one else in my group had issues, which is why they didn’t see it or understand it. I felt hopelessly alone. It wasn’t until my father passed away in 2006 that they stopped. News travels fast, and then it was the “Omg, I’m so sorry” situation… “Get me out and away from all of this,” I’d think. I wasn’t treated as a human; I was merely a figure or object for them to play around with when suited, which was probably one of my most immense lows then.
College Life
I had nothing to complain about when I went to college. I left home when I was 16 or 17 to get a degree in acting, but it took me a while to feel like I fit in with the other students. College is where I met some of my closest friends. Roadblocks were inevitable. I was accustomed to being the sole American abroad. NEVER! Reduce my socialising. My peers used to make fun of me for sitting alone in the canteen and being “fatty.” I always wept at home. My aunt, uncle, and two infant cousins hosted me.
Was moving right? Insecure, I should have stayed in the Netherlands. I asked my younger brother about dating. “Just go and sit next to people in the canteen or class and ask them something relating to the topic you are doing,” he advised. This keeps happening. After a few months, I belonged. I worked part-time after college and was not as bullied.
Working Life 1
I had a hard time with a coworker (as most people do), and I worked in retail, a challenging sector. I dreaded going in on Sundays because of this; my manager was horrible, but strangely, I started to gain confidence, lost weight, and became more angry than upset. She was dragging me down! She even made my life horrible when I was home with relatives on vacation, calling me to come in even though I was on holiday because nothing else worked.
Working Life 2
I’ve met great people and businesses and learned a lot, including a tricky topic, from my many jobs. Why is the firm poisonous? You keep going, but one person may ruin your day. It’s pointless. I’m sensitive, never gossip, and always trust others—money, entertainment, and jealousy cause bullying. Bullying harms. Smart or obese people are depressed. “That’s history,” an outsider can say. Wrong! Never. Be yourself, enjoy life, and treat others well.
Celebrities Who Were Bullied
Something that might surprise you is a list of celebrities who were bullied severely; check out their stories:
- Rihanna faced bullying due to her skin colour and accent.
- Kate Middleton experienced bullying during her school years.
- Elon Musk was physically bullied in school.
- Eminem: I had a rough childhood with constant bullying.
- Michael Phelps was bullied for his appearance and interests.
- Lady Gaga endured severe bullying for her unique style.
- Eva Mendes struggled with bullying during her youth.
- Chris Rock faced racial bullying growing up.
- Justin Timberlake was bullied for being different.
Seventeen years later, the famous teenagers who bullied me are doing nothing. I’ve grown, excelled, started a business, and travelled (Never drive the intelligent kid; they will end up being your boss one day).
Finding Strength and Overcoming Bullying
Friends, family, and the belief that “I’m better than this” helped me! I found happiness and positive individuals. Bullying is inevitable. I recognise hurt. Listen, smile, and leave. Increased emotion will confuse them. It will affect you, but everyone knows you. Switching schools or quitting a job can lead to excellent new opportunities.
The Joy of Self-Care
One thing that truly helped me during these difficult times was embracing self-care. The Joy of Self-Care is all about finding your inner glow and taking care of yourself. Whether it’s indulging in a favourite hobby, practicing mindfulness, or simply pampering yourself, self-care is vital in dealing with bullying and maintaining mental health.
Combating Depression with Superfoods
Another aspect of my journey was improving my diet. Combating Depression with Superfoods highlights how certain foods can help lift your mood and provide the energy needed to face daily challenges. Incorporating these superfoods into my diet made a significant difference in how I felt, both physically and mentally.
Navigating the Darkness: A Personal Journey Through Depression
Bullying can lead to severe emotional distress and depression. My personal journey through depression was a dark time, but finding support and the right coping mechanisms was crucial. Sharing my story helped others, and I hope it can help you too.
Why People Don’t Care & What We Can Do About It
A harsh reality is that sometimes people just don’t care about our struggles. Why People Don’t Care & What We Can Do About It explores this phenomenon and offers strategies to build resilience and find those who genuinely support us.
Important / Help
Are you being bullied at school, at work, or even at home? Talk to someone; you will be surprised what is classified as bullying, leading to depression, anxiety, and more. UNICEF has valuable resources for parents and children to understand and combat bullying.
You’re not alone, whatever your age, job, location, and stage in life! Now go and show people what you are made of!
