Let me set the scene: I had chosen the flowers, the playlist was perfect, and my dream dress was hanging in the closet. Everything was set. But about a week before the wedding, I found myself sitting in my kitchen, staring at a cup of tea that I wasnโ€™t drinking, my stomach in knots. Cold feet. I had it bad. And if you’re reading this, Iโ€™m guessing you might be feeling the same.

woman touch man's hand

The realisation struck me unexpectedly. One minute I was totally fine, and the next, I was questioning everything. Is this the right choice? Am I rushing into this? What if I mess up? An unexpected wave of anxiety drowned out my excitement.

The funny thing is, now that Iโ€™m married and living through the actual marriage, people love to tell me how โ€œmarriage is so hardโ€ or how “the first year is a nightmare”. It’s as if everyone feels compelled to warn you. But let me tell youโ€”those pre-wedding jitters are nothing compared to the love and partnership youโ€™ll build if you’re marrying the right person. However, this doesn’t diminish the reality of feeling uneasy in the moment.

What Cold Feet Really Feels Like

Hereโ€™s the truth: cold feet isnโ€™t about doubting your partner. Itโ€™s more like freaking out about the enormity of the whole thing. The idea that one day could change everythingโ€”itโ€™s overwhelming. It feels like standing at the edge of a cliff, knowing youโ€™re about to jump, but your legs refuse to move.

wedding signage on wall

For me, it wasnโ€™t even about the relationshipโ€”I was totally in love with my fiancรฉ. But that pressure? Itโ€™s real. Weddings involve more than just love; they involve meticulous planning, setting high expectations, and ensuring flawless execution. And when everyone around you starts asking if youโ€™re โ€œreadyโ€, the doubts creep in. I couldnโ€™t help but think, what if I fail at this whole marriage thing?

Am I the Only One Feeling This Way?

Spoiler: No, you’re definitely not alone.

Almost everyone I spoke with acknowledged experiencing hesitation before their wedding. My friend Sarah even confessed that she had a mini panic attack in her car the day before her ceremony. โ€œI thought I was going crazy,โ€ she told me. โ€œBut then I realised, itโ€™s normal. Youโ€™re about to commit your life to someoneโ€”thatโ€™s a big deal!โ€

Even wedding planners and marriage experts agree that cold feet is super common. Dr Scott Stanley, a relationship expert, says, โ€œPre-wedding jitters are completely normal. The key is distinguishing between healthy nervousness and signs of serious concerns.โ€

How I Coped (And How You Can Too)

Unique Wedding Favors For Summer Theme Weddings

So, how did I deal with it? Here are a few things that helped me push through the nerves and get to a place where I could walk down that aisle with confidence.

1. Talk It Out

Keeping those feelings bottled up is the worst thing you can do. I called my best friend and spilt everythingโ€”every fear, every irrational thought. She listened without judgement and reminded me that nerves are part of the process. It felt beneficial to say it out loud: Iโ€™m scared. Sometimes, just acknowledging your fear takes away half its power.

2. Write Down Your Why

I wrote a letter to myself, outlining all the reasons I wanted to marry my partner. The content wasnโ€™t just a mushy love letter. It was useful: how we help each otherโ€™s dreams, how we argue, and how we complement each other. Writing it down made me realise the story was about our life, not just a wedding.

3. Accept That Perfection Doesnโ€™t Exist

I realised that no weddingโ€”or marriageโ€”is perfect. And thatโ€™s okay. The pressure to have everything go flawlessly can fuel a lot of the anxiety. Once I let go of perfection, I was able to breathe again. If something goes wrong, itโ€™ll be a funny story later (and trust me, I have stories). What matters is the commitment youโ€™re making, not whether the cake has the right number of tiers.

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4. Focus on the Bigger Picture

I started to think beyond the wedding day. Yes, weddings are a beautiful celebration, but theyโ€™re just one day in a lifetime of days together. Whenever I felt overwhelmed by details, I reminded myself why we were doing this in the first placeโ€”to build a future together.

After the Wedding: What Happens Next?

After the wedding, you might find people continuing to say things like, โ€œMarriage is the hardest thing youโ€™ll ever do,โ€ or โ€œJust wait until the honeymoon phase is over!โ€ Honestly, it’s important to approach these statements with caution. Yes, marriage takes work, but itโ€™s also a beautiful adventure that evolves every day. Those feelings of uncertainty are fleeting.

Final Thoughts

Unique Wedding Favors For Summer Theme Weddings
Unique Wedding Favors For Summer Theme Weddings

Feeling uneasy before your wedding doesn’t indicate that you’re making a mistake. It means you care deeply about this giant step youโ€™re about to take. If youโ€™re feeling anxious, know that youโ€™re not alone. Lean on your support system, talk it out, and remember that those nerves are completely normal. When the big day comes, youโ€™ll be ready. And once youโ€™re married, youโ€™ll look back and laugh at the panic you had over whether or not the napkins matched the tablecloths.

You are capable of overcoming any obstacles.

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