What Are the Signs That Someone Doesn’t Want to Be Your BFF?

Spotting one-sided friendships before they drain your vibe

Friendship is not always about sunshine, shared memes, and matching tattoos. Sometimes, it’s you doing all the chasing while they ghost you like you’re yesterday’s group chat. If you’re starting to wonder whether your so-called bestie is actually vibing with the title, here’s your sign to investigate.

So, how can you tell if someone just doesn’t want to be your BFF? We’ve got the tea.

1. You’re always the first to text

If your message history appears to be a solo monologue, it’s time to step back. You’re pinging good morning memes, weekend plans, and life updates—and they’re replying three days later with “k.” Ouch.

Translation? You might be talking to the friendship version of a voicemail box.

2. Their energy is… meh

You’re excited. They’re lukewarm. You exclaim, “Guess what?!” and receive a response of “lol” or, worse, “meh.”

Let’s be real—true friends match your energy (or at least try). If they constantly hit you with bland replies, it’s like showing up to a party and finding out it’s just someone doing laundry.

3. They act like you’re a chore

Hanging out shouldn’t feel like you’re scheduling a tax appointment. If every plan you make is dodged like a dodgeball, or if they turn up with the enthusiasm of soggy toast, they’re not prioritising you.

Hot tip: Real friends want to spend time with you—not avoid it like it’s jury duty.

4. You’re the CEO of the Friendship

Making plans? You.
Are you checking in?
Remembering birthdays? Also you.

Meanwhile, they’re just…existing. If you feel like you’re running a one-person friendship company, it’s time to check the balance sheet. Because that energy? It’s costing you.

5. Their social media = your emotional rollercoaster

You hype up their every selfie and story with likes, comments, and fire emojis. But when do you post? Crickets.

👻 “Seen.”
👻 No like.
👻 No comment.

Now, not everyone’s into social media—but if they’re busy liking everyone but you, that’s a silent signal with loud vibes.

6. They talk—but only about themselves

A conversation should be a two-way street, not a never-ending TED Talk about their drama, their holidays, and their cat’s birthday.

If you leave every catch-up knowing everything about them and nothing about how you’re doing—Houston, we have a problem.

Friendship maths: 90% them + 10% awkward silence = 0% real connection.

7. The shade is subtle but strong

Do their jokes feel a little too sharp? Do they compliment you… but only backhandedly? (“You’re brave for wearing that!” = major side-eye)

Friends tease, sure. But if it always feels like the punchline is you, they’re not being playful—they’re being passive-aggressive.

How to deal with a one-sided friendship

Realising someone isn’t your ride-or-die is tough—like ordering your fave milkshake and getting soy kale foam. Disappointing. But freeing.

Here’s what you do:

• Stop chasing.
• Set boundaries.
• Focus on the ones who do show up.

Because of your time, your love, and your energy? It’s precious. And the right people will value it.

Final thoughts: Ditch the drama, keep the diamonds

Friendship should be like a great playlist—uplifting, fun, and with zero skips. If someone isn’t matching your energy, that’s okay. Not every connection is meant to be forever.

So protect your peace. Choose your people. And always remember: real BFFs don’t just laugh with you—they show up, they check in, and they never make you question your worth.

Be the friend you wish you had, and the right ones will stick like glitter.

You Might Also Like:

• Toxic Friendships: When to Walk Away & How to Do It Gracefully
• How to Build Your Self-Worth Without Relying on Others
• Friendship Green Flags: 10 Signs You’ve Found a Real One
• Signs You’ve Outgrown a Friendship (And That’s Okay!)