Breakups—need I say more? We have all had a break up with someone, which is incredibly difficult. Nothing makes sense when you feel like this and fear the end of the world is near.
This is a terrible phase that everyone goes through at some point. My heart has been broken and mended just like anyone else’s. You learn to be solid and challenging, and you learn things about life that are very helpful.
“Moving on is easy. It’s staying moved on that’s trickier.”
― Katerina Stoykova Klemer
Here are a few stages of what everybody needs to get through; some take longer than others They say it takes half your relationship to get over it and move on, so if you have been with someone for a year, give it six months.
They will sometimes still be in the back of your mind depending on the seriousness of it, but soon you will be a new, different person with a brand new positive outlook on life.
1. Shock
It’s akin to possessing multiple timepieces within a single, user-friendly bundle! I find myself perplexed about how to navigate through time, locate my necessities, decide on meals, or even achieve restful sleep.
Regrettably, there’s nothing that brings me joy anymore. The incapacity to shed tears born from utter hopelessness is a shared encounter among many.
2. Confusion
The capital letter W stands out clearly. For what reason did this occur? In what way have I messed up? How likely is it that this will resolve itself?
My life seems to have no purpose. Maybe it’s someone else now. When did things start to go south? Etc. There’s no way to finish this list. It’s frustrating that even your closest friends are sick of telling you that you did nothing wrong.
3. Needing Answers
We all dig and investigate; let’s be honest, we do! It’s Facebook stalking time. Who have they added? Are they seeing someone?
Extensive bout of questioning: Were they being unfaithful? Your mind operates in overdrive, racing at an astonishing pace. If you were to channel that energy into endeavours like finding a cure for a disease or building an entirely new nation, you’d undoubtedly achieve remarkable feats!
Occasionally, desperation leads you to dial their number, only for it to culminate in a heated argument, leaving a message in a voicemail abyss, or encountering the grim reality that the number is no longer in service… Then there’s the perpetual checking of Facebook, anticipating the moment when the “YOU ARE SINGLE” status surfaces, confirming the situation in all its realness!
4. Denial
The extent to which you gazed at your phone went unnoticed until now. But it’s true—you’ve become acutely aware. The urge to reach out to him is palpable. You’ve practically memorized his daily routine, predicting which classes he’ll skip when spending time with his family.
Your preoccupation with message-checking has amassed around 500 messages from him directed at others. The “goodnight, honey, I love you” text has evolved into an essential nightly ritual, a prerequisite for you to find slumber.
5. Doubt / Self Loathing
You make a vow never to cast even a fleeting glance at another person of the opposite gender. Gradually, you adopt a self-deprecating demeanour, becoming so harsh on yourself that the thought of finding someone new begins to feel like an impossible notion.
6. Isolation
This seems to show some confusion when going through breakups. You don’t want to talk to anyone, not even your friends, because you’re making them mad by talking about what happened so much. You stop going out to clubs and doing things that used to make you happy.
7. Depression
In the initial phase of a breakup, tears flow incessantly – an overwhelming torrent, the depression. Your days seem to revolve around lying in the centre of your bed, engulfed in tears, even as your roommates attempt to focus on watching E! News.
8. Drunk Texting…/Calling
It’s never a good idea. And when you don’t hear back or something bad happens, you either cry and go home or… You end the night with a rebound hookup, which might not be the best idea.
9. The Everything Is Ok Stage
Trying to forget and letting them know you’re fine. You’ve moved on and are having fun, but you’re really at home watching The Notebook and crying.
10. Anger
You are tired of how you feel and look and don’t know who you are anymore. So you start to realize what great friends and family you have been pushing away, and you think it’s time to change and get out of this hole because he/she isn’t worth it anymore.
Exercise or realise they’re Less Attractive
Then, out of the blue, a day arrives when you awaken with the realisation that you’ll eventually be okay (I mean, we all need to move on from break ups sooner or later). You push yourself to the limit, engaging in physical activities until exhaustion sets in, and then you embark on a fresh chapter.
Activities that used to evoke laughter or scepticism from others no longer deter you. You eagerly take them on, determined to showcase your self-assured demeanour and your ability to move forward. Your aim is for others to witness your attractiveness and observe your progression beyond the past.
12. Acceptance
One morning, seemingly out of nowhere, a transformative shift occurs. You awaken to a sensation of improved well-being, an awareness that everything eventually fell into place.
The preceding weeks or months have unveiled remarkable opportunities, reshaping your perspective. No longer viewing things from another person’s vantage point, you now perceive the world through your own eyes, forging a newfound independence.
13. Moving On
You get butterflies for a new hunk or doll when you glimpse that bright, shiny light in a new direction. Stage 1 makes you wonder, why did I cry and fear my life was over when it was just beginning? Go ahead—you’re stronger than you think!
“Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.”
― Shannon L. Alder
To make things a little more interesting, why not try the quiz and find out how you handle break ups?! What are your stories from a break up?
