Picture this: a bunch of slightly lost, deeply nostalgic film brothers decide the solution to their midlife malaise is to remake their favourite unhinged â90s creature feature. In the Amazon. With feelings. There’s also a large snake involved. Welcome to Anaconda (2025), a self-aware, self-referential, and occasionally self-destructive comedy reboot.
The premise is honestly kind of genius. Griff (Paul Rudd), Doug (Jack Black), Kenny (Steve Zahn), and Claire (Thandiwe Newton) jet off to the jungle to shoot a âspiritual sequelâ to the original Anaconda. Imagine a filmmaking approach to therapy, but replace the couches with canoes, and incorporate the presence of illegal gold miners, a mysterious stowaway named Ana (Daniela Melchior), and a snake that seems to be unaware of irony.
Meta, but Make It Messy
Remaking Anaconda as a comedy about remaking Anaconda is the sort of pitch that feels like it was born during a late-night studio panic spiral. And honestly? It could have worked. Director Tom Gormican and co-writer Kevin Etten previously gave us the deliciously meta The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, so expectations were understandably high.
Instead, this reboot asks a big question and then trips over it: Who actually cares about this IP? The film even jokes about it. âWho cares about IP?â asks Griff. âLiterally everybody,â snaps Doug. While that may be true in a Sony boardroom, the situation is different out here in the wilds of pop culture. Debatable.
If you need a refresher on the original filmâs chaotic legacy, both IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes provide a nostalgic trip through the franchiseâs wildly uneven history.
Snake? Barely Know Her
As the group ventures deeper into the jungle, the film flirts with Tropic Thunder energy. Unfortunately, it never fully commits. The action feels low-stakes, the dialogue is oddly joke-light for a comedy, and the CGI snake looks like it wandered in from a budget SyFy movie circa 2009.
The biggest irony? The characters claim to have watched the original Anaconda dozens of times, yet their knowledge of its lore feels⊠vague at best. The callbacks and cameos pile up, but instead of feeling like fan service, they land closer to self-congratulation.
Star Power, Shrinking Impact
Paul Rudd and Jack Black do what they always do: charm, riff, and coast on their extremely lovable screen personas. Itâs pleasant! Itâs fine! But itâs also familiar. Thandiwe Newton, criminally underused, deserves far more than the sidelines sheâs given here, while Daniela Melchior brings intrigue that the script doesnât quite know how to nurture.
Visually, the film benefits from lush Australian locations standing in for the Amazon, giving it a glossy adventure-movie sheen. Still, the original Anaconda had a ridiculous, no-shame, lean-into-the-cheese energy that this version never quite captures.
The Best Bit? The Past
The most inventive scenes occur early in the story, during a scrappy creature feature that the characters created as children. Itâs goofy, earnest, and weirdly heartfelt. It’s a cinematic masterpiece within a cinematic masterpiece. Very meta. Also, unintentionally, the highlight.
Final Verdict
Anaconda (2025) has more star power than all previous Anaconda films combined, yet somehow fewer laughs. What could have been a sharp, self-aware reinvention ends up feeling like a glossy regurgitation. The film lacks the chaotic bite that made the original such a cult classic, despite its fun flashes and frustrating execution.
Watch it if you love meta Hollywood jokes, Paul Rudd being Paul Rudd, and snakes that look like they need a software update.
Skip it if you wanted actual tension, sharp satire, or a reboot that truly earns its fangs.
Cute idea. Slithery execution.
